Girl or a Boy ?

Best friends are defined as two or more people who confide in each other their deepest darkest secrets and emotions. Life altering decisions are usually made based off of their "best friends'" opinion. We all have them....everyone has that one individual who through thick and thin, no matter what, can and always will depend on that one person to laugh, to cry, to vent etc. I mean that's what a best friend is for correct? However more times than not, a best friend usually consists of 2 girls or 2 guys. Rare is the connection between a man and a woman where a bond can be created and never amount to much more than a friendship......uuuuup until this generation.

It seems that as our generation grows, girls and guys are developing such closeness where they do indeed become best friends. But where is the thin line drawn where feelings won't evolve into nothing more than "I just like you as a friend". Essentially, when a man and a woman start dating and getting to know each other, it is with the expectation that in order for a relationship to succeed and reach its greatest potential, they should become each other's best friend. Eventually they get to know everything about one another such as favorite color, behavior, favorite numbers, nuances and the like, music, style, movies, sports etc. They learn and develop the mighty powerful "Communication" aspect that is so essential in a relationship along with trust. But isn't this what best friends do as well? Aren't they(they being man/woman) supposed to eventually know anything and everything about one another almost like the back of their own hand. If such is the case, then wouldn't the best friends idealistically be each others soul-mates. After all, if he/she endures pain or hurt from their significant other, who is the one person they come running to....exactly, their best friend. The best friend always happens to know just what to say and what to do to make everything go away. What stops this 1 half of this friendship from having inner desires, or deep down believing it can work as a relationship. Rhetorically ask yourself "How can a Man and a Woman become best friends without the threat of strong feelings developing" and what are the secrets behind this kind of friendship succeeding?


Restrictions!! that is the one attribute in every successful male/female best friendship. In my opinion, these kinds of friendships are not possible unless restrictions are applied before a friendship of that magnitude can exist. The biggest example, but NOT LIMITED to, of a restriction is the "look" of their counterpart. One is either dorky/geeky/not attractive/ while the other is good looking/popular/stylistic/humble. This is because it doesn't cause one or the other to develop feelings that wouldn't compliment their own tastes. A perfect example of this is the movie " Just Friends", a very nice and funny movie about 1 half of the best friend relationship looking to break down that barrier, that label of being "the best friend". But then therein lies an even bigger feeling: insecurity. Does a man/woman choose someone who is the total opposite of what they would envision being with because deep down they know it be difficult to resist. Men are hunters, and women love to be hunted...a game of cat and mouse, if played right, the cat and mouse eventually play great music together. Sure you can be "just friends", but best friends? perhaps not.


Although other restrictions can apply when developing these kind of friendships such as culture, age(which is a huge determining factor that prevents a male/female from "going there"), in the end, when two attractive, educated, great individuals become each others best friend; a spark at some pt or another will develop and then it becomes a battle between the mind and the heart. The mind understands you are just friends so "it can't go there" however the heart will always go after what it wants. How does one know "it can never go there"? Is it possible to build a " Wall " between the individual and their feelings? How thick can that wall be? If hollow enough, it may leave an opportunity for the heart to metaphorically become a bulldozer and break through that wall....

What I belive is that a girl and a boy can be best friends if they understand each other and trust each other. So whats your idea? please comment it back......